SkiChicken.com

Guinness makes just about anything more tasty. If it has meat or chocolate in it, Guinness is a sure bet winner. The Old Louisville Inn, a historic and AWESOME bar in Louisville Colorado, has a wonderful Guinness Meatloaf that’s worth the drive from wherever you might be. Maybe even from Guam, although you may want to take a boat.

I highly recommend you get the Guinness meatloaf with sweet potato fries and a pint of two of Guinness. Do it for for yourself. Because you’re worth it.

The Classic Pass from Aspen Snowmass is a wonderful little pass – you get 4 or 7 days at reduced rates to any of their four mountains, including Highlands, Buttermilk, Aspen Mountain, and my beloved Snowmass. On top of that, they sometimes offer amazing deals on lodging, etc.

My contacts in Snowmass tell me the snow is still AMAZING, and I will soon begin one of my pilgrimages to lovely Snowmass Village. The deals they emailed me can be found at:
Aspen Snowmass Classic Pass Lodging Deals. While they didn’t say anything too touchy-feely in their (automated) email to me, I’d like to think they were saying “We love you, too skichicken. Big hugs.”

This isn’t one of those blogs that follows what ski instructors tell you. I don’t know if you’ve caught onto that by now, but I just thought I’d let you – the reader – know. There’s a reason I’m not a better skier: Listening skills. Learning ability. And some other stuff I wan’t paying attention to. Today’s post flies in the face of all of the good advice I’ve ever gotten. Why the heck do we skiers need ski poles?

1. Feelers
It’s fun to drag your pole as you are turning. It tells you how far down the ground is, and allows you to adjust. Will you be in the Olympics using this technique? Well, probably not. But really, you should stop fooling yourself about that anyway – there’s a couple other reasons you won’t won’t be bringing home the gold any time soon. So drag your poles a little and have fun!

2. Self defense against marauding snow ninjas
Ever been attacked by marauding snow ninjas? No, of course not. why? Because you had your poles with you. Snow ninjas, while they love marauding, absolutely HATE to be poked. Poles are an effective self defense implement. When I first started skiing as a child, skiers would sometimes buzz too close. My Uncle Bob taught me to flail my limbs when I heard someone about to buzz me. Poof – magically no more close calls. This technique of flailing serves me well, even today, as it has become my main method of dancing at clubs.

3. Annoys purists
There is still much snobbery among the ski culture elite, and using poles just bugs the heck out of them. Purists are fun to annoy. I think that’s why they were created -for us to have a little fun with them. What are they going to do – be offended? They would be anyway!

4. It’s a crutch
Many a ski instructor has probably said “Don’t use your poles – it’s a crutch”. Well, duh. Of course it’s a crutch! that’s why you should use them! Would you tell an injured person not to use their crutch, simply because it’s a crutch?! No way. Crutches are helpful, and we use them when we need help.

And no one need more help on the slopes than me.

Whoops – that’s only four. What are you, a purist?

There is a crazy extreme ski jump video I came across today on the web. These guys are jumping cliffs! This isn’t the kind of thing you would see me do, but MAN is it fun to watch.

I frequently end up on the slopes Copper Mountain just two hours or so before they close. Why would anyone want to ski for just two hours? Well first off, sometimes it’s all I can do. I’ve found the perfect ski day to be too elusive. But work until noon, then make the drive? Much simpler. I also don’t have to wait for the perfect roads, perfect weather, etc. Just 2 hours – maybe 5 if you could driving roundtrip from Denver – is all it takes. Some other reasons you might want to try the 2 hour ski:

1. A 2 hour ski makes you thankful. Every twist and turn of your skis / snowboard are so very precious. For every run you take, you might consider whether you’ll have time – or sacrifice the time – to come back through. Each run takes on new meaning. There are no second chances.

2. Everyone is already enjoying Apre Ski, or just worn out. Less crowded hills and lift lines make it feel like the mountain is all yours.

I plan another 2 or 3 hour trip next week. I might ski loveland just to have another hour more or so on the slopes. I’ll let you know how it goes!

This morning I saw an article about “Snow Rage” happening up in Quebec, Canada: That’s right, the French speaking ones. People sometimes get so busy trying to get from home to work and work to home, that they forget how wonderful snow is. We at skichicken central headquarters have devised a 4 step plan to help our readers respond to feeling of snow rage in appropriate ways:

1. Launch your body into the air toward a snow drift
It will lighten your mood and remind you of the thrill of being airborn. Snow was actually invented just to be a slippery cushion of fun. It’s in the Bible: Look it up. It’s somewhere in the front.

2. Go skiing or snowboarding in Colorado
Colorado has the freshest air, and the best snow for skiing and snowboarding. Your feelings of snow rage are actually from breathing city air and taking your life too seriously. It’s time to get back to nature. It’s time to purify your body, starting with crisp, clean mountain air. You need breathtaking views, slippery snowy goodness, and the experience that IS Colorado ski country. Find some remote part of Copper Mountain Ski Resort, or Snowmass, and just ENJOY.

3. Snow dance
Hey – you’re not going anywhere any time soon. Might as well enjoy yourself. Dance to celebrate the snow, or it’s melting. What you are snow dancing for is up to you – just break out in a snow dance and let it improve everyone’s mood!

4. Chill
Stand there. Slow down – no one expects you to be on time with that storm. Take your time, examine a few snowflakes if you need to. They’ll be gone before they know it, and so will you.

A reader recently found our website by searching Google for an answer to one of the most important questions a skichicken reader can ask: “What time do the slopes close at copper mountain?” Too Damn Early, that’s what time.

The upper lifts close at 3:30pm, the lower lifts at 4pm. Reader, if you are still out there wondering, there’s still time. But leave now!

Just a side note: I was up on Copper Mountain yesterday, and it was dreamy. The snow was perfect, the weather was perfect. It was somewhat busy for a Monday, but those little hidden mountain places were still so quit, and so beautiful.

As I approached the American flyer lift for my final run, I thought “If you don’t keep getting on the lift until 4:01pm, it’s just another form of self hatred.”