5 reasons why you need ski poles
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008This isn’t one of those blogs that follows what ski instructors tell you. I don’t know if you’ve caught onto that by now, but I just thought I’d let you – the reader – know. There’s a reason I’m not a better skier: Listening skills. Learning ability. And some other stuff I wan’t paying attention to. Today’s post flies in the face of all of the good advice I’ve ever gotten. Why the heck do we skiers need ski poles?
1. Feelers
It’s fun to drag your pole as you are turning. It tells you how far down the ground is, and allows you to adjust. Will you be in the Olympics using this technique? Well, probably not. But really, you should stop fooling yourself about that anyway – there’s a couple other reasons you won’t won’t be bringing home the gold any time soon. So drag your poles a little and have fun!
2. Self defense against marauding snow ninjas
Ever been attacked by marauding snow ninjas? No, of course not. why? Because you had your poles with you. Snow ninjas, while they love marauding, absolutely HATE to be poked. Poles are an effective self defense implement. When I first started skiing as a child, skiers would sometimes buzz too close. My Uncle Bob taught me to flail my limbs when I heard someone about to buzz me. Poof – magically no more close calls. This technique of flailing serves me well, even today, as it has become my main method of dancing at clubs.
3. Annoys purists
There is still much snobbery among the ski culture elite, and using poles just bugs the heck out of them. Purists are fun to annoy. I think that’s why they were created -for us to have a little fun with them. What are they going to do – be offended? They would be anyway!
4. It’s a crutch
Many a ski instructor has probably said “Don’t use your poles – it’s a crutch”. Well, duh. Of course it’s a crutch! that’s why you should use them! Would you tell an injured person not to use their crutch, simply because it’s a crutch?! No way. Crutches are helpful, and we use them when we need help.
And no one need more help on the slopes than me.
Whoops – that’s only four. What are you, a purist?